“For a more reasonable process for the Senate to advise and consent on Supreme Court nominees, it would be of invaluable benefit to refer to Gulliver’s Travels by Johnathan Swift. The kingdom of the Lilliputians should be the model for every serious democracy.”
Tertiam Quidd, p. 643, What Has Happened to Common Sense? Brick Oven Publishing and Pizza, Floyd, Va. 1974.
If you’re old enough to remember the 1991 Clarence Thomas senate hearings you’ll recall that law professor Anita Hill accused Thomas of sexual harassment during the time she served as his intern. You may also remember she testified about finding a pubic hair on her can of Coke. You may further remember that The Brown Duck, a subsidiary of Tertiam Quid offered a free pizza to anyone finding pubic hairs on their pizza whether it was home delivery, frozen or eaten in any of the fine Brown Duck endorsed restaurants, bistros or pizza joints. As it turns out many people enjoyed a free pizza during that promotion but one man at Mama L’s in the town of Floyd, Virginia was caught on a surveillance camera putting one of his own pubic hairs onto a a large Meat Lover’s Special with Mama L’s hand-tossed crust.
But getting back to senate hearings for Supreme Court confirmation, the imaginary rules, deadlines and customary procedures being fabricated on the fly for the Kavenaugh hearing, now that he has been accused of what may be seen as attempted rape, are so plainly hypocritical and all-in for the new autocracy that we are unable to offer any sort of occurrences around which an offer of free pizza can be made. It’s unfortunate that the ludicrousness of politicians can no longer provide us with the kind of fun promotions upon which this economy became the largest in the world. Please write to your elected representatives and insist that they return to the kind of flaw filled governance we all enjoyed so much in the past. Make Free Pizza Great Again. The once-called honorable Anthony Weiner tried. There’s a pubic hair shortage in the houses of congress and if something isn’t done about it by Tuesday then something bad might happen. Think about that for a while.
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