Someone relatively famous once said “the truth shall set you
free.” However, in a post factual world
both the truth and freedom can be defined as anything you wish to claim them to
be. Going into a courtroom and swearing “to
tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth” can take on a whole
new meaning while “perjury” becomes a word that will have, at some time, to be
eliminated.
P. 694, Swearing on a Stack of Bibles. Tertiam Quid, 1956, Riner House Publishing.
I’ve heard
stories and I’m not sure what the truth of them might be, but since we’re now
in this post factual world I suppose the validity of anything you hear is more
or less irrelevant. Take away from what you
hear said any meaning you want. Now
those stories I’ve been hearing are about this celebrity or that performer, this
marching band or that float design specialist having declined an invitation to
participate in the Donald Trump inaugural parade. Back in the 1950s I loved a parade; but I
don’t anymore. Not even half-time
shows. Yet in spite of my indifference,
I know just the one individual who they should invite, implore, beg to perform
at the inaugural, and he’s one who would absolutely generate a lot of attention
and days’ worth of discussions from coast to coast, from red state to blue
state and even inside the walls of dear friends in the Kremlin.
Perhaps you
remember the Nelson Mandela funeral in 2013.
If so, you may also recollect this handsome gentleman positioned just
behind and a bit to the left of each one of the many world leaders, including
President Obama, who took their turn to speak and eulogize the late South
African president. For the benefit of
the hearing impaired, this impeccably outfitted fellow was signing. Signing his heart out at every word every
uttered through the speaker’s microphone.
But the thing was, he did not know a single word of sign language and
had never been asked by anyone to provide the service he was so
enthusiastically rendering.
Nevertheless, he managed to get himself on stage and in front of all
those television news cameras. That is
world-wide exposure for a man who otherwise would most likely have left on this
world no mark of either his presence or his personality. Now he shall remain for all time immortalized
on archival tapes and DVD recordings in every country that sees fit to document
history. And of course, there is always
the internet. His unrivalled performance
may have been in response to someone’s triple-dog-dare, but his creativity in
the art of purposeful human foolishness must certainly rank very high among the
greatest of pranks known to mankind. The
gentleman had hutzpah. For many years to
come, his remarkable feat will stand as the benchmark to beat for all those
suffering from a chronic solemnity disorder, also known in some very low
profile organizations as CSD.
To this day, and
as far as our extensive Brown Duck Research Team has determined, who he was and
what has become of him remains cloaked in mystery. Yet I know of no earthly reason why an open
invitation should not be extended to this aristocrat of buffoonery to appear at
the inauguration of the forty-fifth President of The United States of
America. The unidentified sham master could
stand, virtuously, just behind and slightly to the left of Donald Trump as he
gives his much-awaited inaugural address.
The appearance of this spurious signer might even figure as a step
toward unifying this still bitterly divided nation. And hey, would any of us
really know if he faked the sign for “pussy?” Not ever, do I think, in these post factual days
in America.
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