If Dogs Could Talk

"I don't believe, nor have I found evidence that dogs or any other animals can talk as we humans do. I am, however, convinced that they a more precise means of communication."

- T. Quidd, 1969, p. 752; American Politics by Assassination & Why Animals Understand Each Other Better Than We Do.

If Dogs Could Talk . . . 

 You’d never hear one say “No thanks, I’m already so full I couldn’t eat another bite.”

But you might hear them say….

“Where’d you find that shit you rolled in this morning?”

“Did you know cat puke is loaded with delicious vitamins?”

“Do any of you other guys understand why city people pick up your poop in plastic sandwich bags?  You don’t suppose they really; well, come to think of it I have tasted some pretty decent poop around here.”

“They never eat the ticks they pull off of us.  What a waste!”

“Naps help conserve energy incase anything happens where you might need it.”

“Sure, I could eat.”

“Maybe if they smelled their own crotches abortion never would have become such an inflammatory political issue.”

“ lol… lick it or lose it dude.”

“Money has less nutritional value than cat shit.”

“Been there, done that, got the parasites.”